Wouldn’t it be great if life came with a set of instructions? Maybe not IKEA instructions, we’d all be screwed. Just a basic step 1-5, then everything would be fixed. Most of my life I’ve taken on the people pleaser approach. As I get older and dig deeper into my soul search, its bigger than what I originally thought. This fixing it thing.
I’m finding a lot of what I try to fix in others, is an overlooked internal repair I’ve avoided within myself. It’s almost like the more I can see the results working for the others, the less I address it for myself. Caroline and I talk regularly, about being emotionally depleted. Not only the impact it can take on us individually, but how it overflows into all that we do.
I’m learning the more I’m fixing things around me, the longer I wait for replenishment myself. The balance of jobs, kids, relationships, hell, even the people we share the roads with, can be draining. Not always in a bad way. People are demanding. Plain & Simple! WE NEED THINGS. Typically, it’s a temporary form of satisfaction that serves us. What’s next though?
I’m always looking for something I can get my hands into, some advice I can offer, or an example of a win I experienced. I generally have good intentions, I mean well, and truly want to fix the problem. It’s the “problem” that gets me though. That deep seeded secret, the resentment from 5 years ago, a childhood skeleton in my closet, or whatever the case may be. I know how it felt, the pain, the hurt, the experience. So I try to prevent someone else from having to experience it.
Not everything can be fixed. Shit, most of the time it doesn’t need to be. Not everything is my responsibility to get involved in. Allowing people to make life choices, without causing harm to themselves or others isn’t my business on how they do it. Who am I? Honestly, we’re all rough around the edges. Learning as we go.
Having a moment of clarity can really help a person address some shit. The action step that follows is us being honest with ourselves. My new crossroads. Fill myself up and let that overflow, or keep giving the plants in my life a little drop here and there. We all know what happens when something isn’t watered properly.
Part of the lesson for myself lately has been this…
Not everything needs to be put together or fixed like an IKEA nightstand.
Take a look inside today. I encourage you to engage in a meaningful conversation with a loved one about your shortcomings. You’ll find you’re not as weird as you might think.